I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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