I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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