i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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