Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
