There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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