I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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