hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
