the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
