If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
