thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
