Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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