I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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