everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
third nipple confirmed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
