All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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