he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
