mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
