Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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