it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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