Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
