the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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