I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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