and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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