Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
