I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
