You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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