Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
