People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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