her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
