i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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