not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
