but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
