its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
