is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
