I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
