The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
