I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
