Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
