Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
