He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
