...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wat bout pragnant strippers??
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
