oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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