I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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