i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
