3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
