Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
