I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
