You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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