I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize