I skipped work to stalk him.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
