But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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