Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
