Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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