It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
