Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
