Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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