just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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