I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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