bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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