remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
