even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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