called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
