im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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