I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we're making bets on your personal life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
